We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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