Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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