New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
