Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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