Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
