So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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