You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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