It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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