hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
