I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
they need to just BURY HIM!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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