Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
