Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
