You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
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