Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
