I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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