..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
