hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
