I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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