it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
