two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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