shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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