I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
