Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You're like the curious george of whores
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
