office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
