i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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