bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
