then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
