honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
