It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's never too late to be topless.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
