ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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