but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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