why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
