Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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