Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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