Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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