I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
