that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
