that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
