do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
love makes seman taste better
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You are the jesus of drinking
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
