No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
