If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
