So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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