I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
we should paint friendship bongs
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
