Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize