its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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