I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
