I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
