Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
