I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
