I feel like abortions should bother me more
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
