Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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