this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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