it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
