I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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