And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Randomize
