I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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