The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
