just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I need help removing her.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
