dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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