I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Randomize
