Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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