It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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