He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
