HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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